How to Ditch All-or-Nothing

I named my business PoP Health & Wellness because I wanted a reminder that Progress Over Perfection (PoP) is the key to unlocking potential. It’s the key to helping my clients achieve long-lasting change while eliminating the guilt of not being perfect. After all, progress is progress no matter how big or small. So how do I help those, including myself, that maintain an all-or-nothing approach to goals? I’ve been there and I’m sure you have as well. “I had a few bites of ice cream, I might as well polish off the pint.” “I skipped my spinning class Monday, I might as well blow off the rest of the week.” Whether it’s fitness, nutrition, household tasks, business goals, etc., how do we get back on the right path after getting derailed? How do we ditch the all-or-nothing mentality?

You’ve Got to Walk Before You Can Run

The first step is setting the right kind of goals. Your goals need to match your values, strengths, and abilities. Goals need to be attainable. I’m not suggesting you give up on lofty goals. I’m suggesting you break those lofty goals down into smaller chunks with the end game in mind. Let’s use a nutrition goal as an example. Perhaps you would like to eliminate overly processed foods from your diet. Doing a complete overhaul of your pantry and refrigerator could cause frustration. The feeling of being deprived could drive you straight to a bag of chips. Start with one meal a day. Make your breakfast each day a whole-food meal. Once you are comfortable with maintaining that, add in lunch. Within a few weeks, you will have set yourself, and your pantry, up for success.

You Need to Want It

You’ve got to WANT your goal to ACHIEVE your goal. This seems like a simple statement but it’s not. I’ve seen many clients set goals made for them by other people. Say your bestie wants to run a 10k this summer and convinced you, over a few glasses of wine, to join her in this pursuit. That goal seemed like a good idea after two glasses of merlot, but the next day you remember that you hate running! Perhaps your trainer made a blanket statement that you need to “eat better.” To them, that might mean eating only a plant-based diet. That can’t be your goal if you love beef and chicken. “Eating better” needs to match up with your values, beliefs, and taste buds. Goals that don’t mean something to you will be the first ones to go. You need a bit of passion behind your WANT to help you stick with a goal.

Write it Out to Sort it Out

I’m a big proponent of writing stuff down. I won’t bore you with the many studies that explain the complex sensory connection between writing something by hand and how the brain better stores that info for later. Suffice it to say, the act of writing things down does something magical! Yes, I am that person that makes flashcards for a big test. I’m also that person that likes to see my goals, and the reasons for them, written in a cute little journal with sparkly gel pens. Writing your goals down does a couple of things to help you let go of the all-or-nothing approach. When you relapse, (and you will relapse, see previous blog post) you can go back to your journal and remind yourself why you created that goal in the first place. And there is something about seeing your goal written out that makes it feel more tangible, more doable. It helps you visualize the end result. The small act of writing goals down helps get you back on the right path instead of throwing your hands in the air and giving up.

Be Kind to Yourself

My last suggestion is simple. Be kind to yourself! We are in a world where body image is constantly thrown at us through every social media source out there. We are made to feel guilty for not living an organic, plant-based lifestyle that leaves the smallest carbon footprint. Somehow falling short in anything makes us feel useless and undesirable. Stop beating yourself up! Over the years I have come to realize that everyone is a hot mess. In public, we put on a good show of having our shit together. Privately, we know better. So just go easy on yourself. Part of achieving goals is dealing with obstacles, and one of those obstacles might be your all-or-nothing mindset. When that moment hits, stop and reflect on why you set the goal in the first place. Then pat yourself on the back for the progress you have made and the lessons you have learned along the way.